S1 • E12 Apr 9, 1970 25m
Pat shows how little he retains while speed reading. A race track announcer and a phone operator have a talkative home life. Shutterbug Pat takes a Polaroid selfie that looks like Richard Nixon. "Just Us Girls" features weird astrology from Astro Lady and gossip from Anita Nose. Pat shows a montage of Buffalo Running Schwartz's appearances, then informs him the series has been canceled. According to the Paulsen Rating System, his show is the most popular on TV, but he's quitting while it's on top. Pat sings a "straight" song, Did I Ever Really Live."
